I should probably write. I haven't been able to for a couple of days now. A lot of people are rejecting me, or it feels like they are. They're acting like they know me, know what I really am, but when I tell them the truth of what I am they deny it. They give me the mumbo jumbo shit back, telling me what I already know they're gonna say. If it came from a guy I'd accept it, but I think I must be sexist because when it comes from a girl I can't. I don't like being round girls, They just remind me of my mistakes. They remind me of my sick first kiss, of what I've done that if I told no one would believe me about.
Mikey, I'm pretty sure, hasn't forgiven me. He doesn't trust me, and that hurts because, somehow, one person in Israel has touched my life with so much force it's made me change the way I live. Yeah that sounds stupid and unbelievable, just the delusional murmurings of a 13 yr old, but he has changed me. And I wish I hadn't betrayed him, and I wish I could earn back his trust, but I don't see my Mister Heart-Of-Gold much anymore. I wish, though, that I'd never found out what he said to my friend behind my back. I really hope that he doesn't truly believe that I have no future, because I've never proved him wrong before, but if he believes that then Sorry Mikey, but I'm about to start.

Right, I better get dressed so I can go destroy some pumpkins in my new hat. I hope it doesn't get sticky.