Blasphemy!

Somethings wrong, but I don't know what.
Its strange... I feel content but I'm alone. I can't feel towards Teddy or miss Wacko, I can't feel annoyance at RyRy or even Wonder about Hawkeye, I can still feel physically, but not emotionally. That sounds ridiculous but its what's happening. Couple of days ago I just... forgot. I got caught up in work and youtube and my world just slipped, not even Teddy at the back of my mind. I still get apprehension though. I read up about herobrine, the mythical MineCraft character that's always right on the edge of short render distances, builds symmetrical pyramids, two block high tunnels, leaving a mark but not approachable, not...within distance. Ok the steve outfit with white eyes does freak me out a bit, I've never liked blank things. But the whole Herobrine story got my slightly scared for one night - I know, I will endure the ribbing- and everything just slipped away! I don't know whether I git a glimmer of normal or if the Herobrine story is so similar to my situation with shout I concentrated on it not people... I don't know. I'm still half in the daze to be fair. I feel like... almost like year 6. I had no friends in year 6, just acquaintances. My guy games were fun, they didn't hurt me and I was content. That's what I am now, content. Cold, aching, mystified and sleepy but content. I don't even want to talk to Teddy, that sounds rude but I don't. I'm curious to if he's still in one peice... But the part of me that knows there's nothing to say, that knows he won't respond because he's busy or I'm bugging him, has won. The part of me that always wants to be alone and stand tall, without help, has won. Good or bad? You decide. Only time will tell I spose.

Don't want my birthday to come. Now that does hurt. The promises that were gonna happen... It kills. I hate it... it makes me want to run and hide, go die in a corner. Id sooner fight Teddy in hand to hand combat than face Monday but I can't stop it, days come and go I've just gotta get through it. "Its just an ordinary day, its all your state of mind" comes to my head.

Ok so I just took a break there. Spoke to my friends breifly... Made sure Teddy is in one peice, talked to Ry a bit, showed Wacko the official MineCon trailer... Nothings changed. I keep hearing Tiger call my name though, when I shut my eyes. It sounds so real... I think I'm going crazy.
To be fair... was I ever really sane?

Considering I just finished Eclipse, I'd say I'm mental.